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Dumb and Dumber: PMHNP student edition

NP programs should require their students to take an IQ test before admission so that they don't become the laughingstock of healthcare.

Stories

Liar, liar, pants on fire: PMHNP student edition

This story from an NP group on Facebook provides a valuable glimpse into the types of bottom-feeding scum being accepted into NP schools these days.

Social Media Consults

Cut out the middleman and consult Facebook yourself!

If you really need all the help you can get, then maybe you should see a residency-trained, board-certified physician.

Noctor

Where's the doctor at Dr. Pales Healthcare?

This "doctor" pales in comparison to an actual physician.

Social Media Consults

"I am confused, what should I dx the patient with?"

We're confused by the fact that midlevels like these are allowed near real patients.

Social Media Consults

"Fairly new" PMHNP wants to know if her "scary med changes" are OK

Narrator: This is *not* OK.

Social Media Consults

Nurse practitioner doesn't know how to prescribe medications

This midlevel needs a prescription for medical school!

Nurse Practitioner

Secret Agent Nurse Practitioner

Just like James Bond, nurse practitioners have a license to kill!

Nurse Practitioner

Midlevel's House Calls

Somehow, "Midlevel's House Calls" just doesn't have the same ring to it.

Nurse Practitioner

PMHNP shows off her amazing sense of compassion

When you're a nurse practitioner and all else fails, just blame the patient and his mother!

Nurse Practitioner

PMHNP wonders if NPs can perform abortions

An NP abortion? No thanks, I'll just try a coat hanger instead.

Nurse Practitioner

NPs get stuck in an infinite loop

Do you hear that noise? It's the AANP clamoring to trick the general public into thinking that patients seen by midlevel nurse practitioners have higher satisfaction and fewer unnecessary emergency room visits. Well, guess what? I'd be pretty goddamn unsatisfied if I went to the emergency department, only saw a

Social Media Consults

A rare case of "Perry orbital cellulitis"

No worries, we can just refer the patient to a "red eye" optometrist with whom we have an "informal arrangement"!

Nurse Practitioner

Family NP thinks she does "the exact same things as the MDs", hates healthcare

If you want to get respected and paid like a physician, then stop whining and go to medical school to become a physician.

News

Kansas hospital celebrates midlevels on National Women Physicians Day

Not a good look for the University of Kansas Health System.

Social Media Consults

PMHNP attempts to second-guess psychiatrist, fails miserably

Clueless midlevels need to stay in their lane.

Social Media Consults

Titrate insulin to Facebook PRN

Consulting Facebook for help with titrating your patients' insulin - what could possibly go wrong?

Social Media Consults

"She need a get off the couch med"

Perhaps in response to our revelatory exposés of idiotic midlevel social media consults, we've noticed a substantial uptick in the number of aforementioned social media consults being nebulously reframed as "case studies" or "asking for a friend"-type questions. Here, we have an example of the latter from "doctorally-prepared" PMHNP

Social Media Consults

It all looks foreign to me!

On today's episode of "Things you should have learned in school before touching real patients", we have this gem from newly minted family NP Grace Metzger working in primary care in Andrews, NC through Erlanger Health System. Apparently, NP Grace sees "a bunch of derm" even though "it all looks

Social Media Consults

PMHNP has "zero experience treating ADHD"

Can you imagine an attending psychiatrist making it through medical school, board exams, and psychiatry residency without knowing how to treat ADHD? Fucking hell, even a competent internist, family physician, or pediatrician could at least competently initiate treatment for ADHD. Imagine going to a dealership and buying a car, only

Social Media Consults

Elite NP performs an elite diagnostic workup

Can anyone help this elite midlevel with her patient's clinical conundrum?

News

Butthurt Physician Assistants can't handle the truth

On January 7, 2022, Medscape published an excellent op-ed piece entitled "PA Name Change Bad for Patients and the Profession" by Rebekah Bernard, MD, a Florida-based family medicine physician who co-authored the groundbreaking book Patients at Risk and serves as the president of Physicians for Patient Protection, a grassroots organization

Social Media Consults

It's called "going to medical school"

Some skills are so basic and fundamental to the practice of medicine that it would be literally impossible for a medical student to graduate from medical school without possessing them. Needless to say, one of these skills is learning how to interpret basic labs such as a CBC and BMP/

Social Media Consults

ER NP places a STAT Facebook consult for compartment syndrome

Clearly, asking the Facebook peanut gallery for help during a limb-threatening surgical emergency is the most appropriate course of action.

Social Media Consults

Urine trouble: NPs demonstrate a piss-poor understanding of pee

Urine for a real golden treat with this post.