NPs say the darnedest things

Originally posted on Reddit

I'm a third-year medical student and these are actual things I've heard the NPs I've worked with say over the course of the year. Bare in mind all of these people are in practice and have been for years and I'm just a lowly third year fulling recognizing I really don't know dick about medicine at this point in training.

• Urgent Care NP: "The patient is here for a wellness exam. I don't really know how to do a full physical exam, so would you mind doing it so I can watch?"
• Urgent Care NP: "When they say H1N1 flu, what does that even mean?"
• Psych NP while we were talking about meds for insomnia: "I'm not really sure what suvorexant is, but I know it is contraindicated in narcolepsy so it must be bad. That's why I never prescribe it."
• Hospitalist NP: "The ED is admitting this patient for colitis. Is that like, the same thing as an obstruction?"
• Psych NP asking me about why she may be having shoulder pain with radicular symptoms: "I talked to my acupuncturist about it and she said I may need an MRI bc I could have Guillain-Barre. Do you think that could be it?" I promptly informed her that there was a zero percent chance that her isolated shoulder pain for over a month was due to Guillain-Barre.
• Pain Med NP to attending during busy clinic: "Why would a lady with Parkinson's get tremors from Seroquel?" Attending (who admittedly is kind of a dick), "I simply do not have time to teach you neuropathophysiology right now. I'll just see the patient."