Elite NP looks to Facebook for a medication to treat low self-esteem

If there's one clinical trait most, if not all seasoned physicians have developed after four years of medical school, three to seven years of residency, and possibly additional fellowship training, it's to never take things at face value, especially if it's something the patient tells you. If patients can diagnose their own medical problems, why do we need physicians anyway?

Case in point: this Facebook post by "elite" nurse practitioner Glory Osadiaye. We know she's elite because she charges $250 per session /s. Thanks to their shitty 500+ hours of what passes as clinical rotations, most, if not all NPs these days are not even remotely close to possessing a solid fund of basic medical knowledge and clinical acumen and thus fall into the trap of catering exclusively to the patient's self-perceived needs, wants, and beliefs. Patient says they have ADHD? Here's some Adderall! Patient says they have a cold? Here's a Z-Pak and steroids! Patient denies anxiety, depression or mental illness, despite having a history of suicidal ideation? Surely, it can't be any of those things! How about performing a fucking PHQ-9? Or a GAD-7? It's the least a patient could expect from their $250 visit. No wonder the tired and overused trope of "But nurse practitioners listen to patients more!" exists - these clinically inept midlevels use their so-called "listening" skills as a crutch for a lack of medical knowledge and an inability to practice the refined art of formulating a differential diagnosis and performing a proper medical and/or psychiatric workup. In one ear and out the other, without a brain in between.

In any case, why don't we humor ourselves and take NP Glory's question at face value? What sorts of medications "help with self-esteem" anyway? Surely it can't be SSRIs because the patient denies having anxiety or depression /s. Let's ask our friendly neighborhood Google AI for some answers:

Wow! Even a cold, heartless computer knows that trying to treat low self-esteem by itself with medications is bullshit and mentions anxiety or depression as conditions that can cause low self-esteem (hint, hint). Don't ask AI for medication recommendations though, because prescribing benzodiazepines for boosting self-confidence is definitely not recommended. We wouldn't put it past an NP to try that, though, given their reputation for safely and appropriately prescribing psychiatric medications!

While we're on the topic of complete bullshit, we figured it'd be fun to top things off with a quick look at the website for NP Glory's practice "SoulCare Health LLC". "250K+ happy clients"? What the fuck? Does anyone really believe that a single NP is servicing a quarter of a million patients? Even if this was a group practice, which it doesn't appear to be per CMS data and Google reviews, those kinds of numbers would be absolutely bonkers. That's almost 10 times the entire population of Lawrenceville, GA! Bonnie Blue must be working as a nurse practitioner now!